El Bachelor

Greetings from down under! It is absolutely freezing here this week! Non-stop wind, rain, and cold. So I'm just sitting on my couch in sweats, slippers, a scarf, and a blanket, drinking tea. It's hard to believe it's summer up North! (And hard to believe I'm missing it!). I hope Jojo's adventures can distract me from this grey misery :)

I was out of town last week and didn't realize there would be no episode due to 4th of July, so it all worked out! The guys start this episode off talking about how incredibly confused they were over the last rose ceremony. Seemed pretty straightforward to me, but I don't take any type of muscle supplement so my mental faculties may be a bit sharper than some of the men. Alex in particular felt confused and upset, but he is finally getting a gaucho-themed one-on-one date today, so he can "stop bitching" now, as Jordan points out. Yay!

I'll never stop bitching

Jojo and Alex take an SUV into the countryside somewhere, and there is absolutely no chemistry between them. They honestly feel like brother and sister in the back of their parents car on a road trip. They eat chips and talk about nothing. We also learn that Alex believes he can freestyle. (He can't). 

Mooooom, tell Alex to leave me alone!

The other 5 men ride in a pretty cool old bus, even though there are only 5 of them so it seems a bit excessive. They too are free-styling, with some small measure of success, though it is still embarrassing to watch. Also, breaking news you guys, and I hope someone tells Jojo about this because she needs to know:

Robby stole the slippers from the hotel!! Not only that, he is wearing them, apparently, as shoes?

Robby has stolen the slippers from the Plaza, and I hope someone takes the time to tell Jojo about this severe lack of character (and fashion sense). Back on the date, Alex and Jojo ride horses and then watch some kind of horse-whisperer dance that they seem really into. It was probably cool in real life. Via tv it looked like this:

#gaucholife

Later, at dinner, Alex tells Jojo he's falling in love with her and this shocks her and freaks her out. She says she never expected to hear that, and she also tells him that she doesn't feel excited when she hears it from him. I don't know why she didn't just let him go home last week. Obviously she didn't feel very strongly about him, but I wonder why she felt like she needed a one-on-one. I feel sorry for him, but I think he'll get over it pretty quickly. I don't actually think his feelings are that deep. But what do I know? Jojo acts upset in her interview but no tears fall, so I don't think she's very upset either. Moving on!

I'm not saying Jojo likes Jordan more than Alex, but one of them got a backseat road trip and potato chips and one is getting a private jet to wine country and a hot tub. Meanwhile, back the ranch, the men speculate on why/if Jordan is the front runner. They think he got the first impression rose because he gets box seats at the Super Bowl...

I'm not so sure that's the reason 

Jojo brings her crochet bikini back to action this week, so she must mean business. We also find out that Luke is getting the other one-on-one date, because Jojo is not hiding her feelings at all, and plus she likes making out with hot men. The other three are sad. 

Jordan opens up to Jojo on their date about his family and that he doesn't talk to his famous brother Aaron (but more importantly, does he still get Super Bowl tickets?). Then he says he loves her and Jojo is verrrrrrry happy. Can't this season just end now? Obviously if she doesn't pick Jordan then something horrible has happened, and I don't want to see it!

Unfortunately, the season isn't over, and there is still a group date. Or do we call it a 3-on-one? It's raining hard so instead of a mysterious outdoor adventure, the date is inside the hotel. Back at the Plaza in Buenos Aires in fact (I guess Robby can return the slippers now). Jojo has a "perfect sleepover" set up and they eat pizza and fries, do a massage train (reluctantly), play charades and Pictionary, and then truth or dare. They also drink champers and watch El Bachelor, so I would say it is indeed a perfect slumber party. 

So weird

After this day of fun the 3 men make their cases to Jojo-- they are all in love, all want to marry her, and all want her to meet their families. I think contestants are saying love earlier and earlier as each season passes. Usually its just the last 2, but we still have 6 plus men left and they are all in. It's interesting. Robby gets the rose. Meh. He is boring to me. 

Luke's date is next and they seem to go back to the same estancia that Jojo was at with Alex. Fair enough if she wants a do over! Luke grew up on a horse farm so he got to show off his skills and Jojo was feelin it. Yet she seems to cut the date short an instead of having a night-time portion, Luke goes home to get ready for the rose ceremony. I must admit Luke grew on me during the date. I might even be moving over to team JoLuke. I know! Its crazy. But he seems smart and nice, and like he thinks about things in a fair and meaningful way. If all those things are true I don't know what he's doing on this show, but I'm wondering if he'll win. Damn you, show! You've got me on a roller coaster of emotions. 

Horse-barn make-out sesh

At the rose ceremony, James Taylor is out. Not surprising. He is a nice guy though. I bet he will meet someone soon! There must be a sweet Vandy-grad somewhere in Nashville that would love someone to play guitar for her. Don't worry JT! Jojo cried actual tears for the first time as well. 

Next week-- we leave Argentina and head back to America where Jojo meets the various fams, hears rumors about Robby and his ex, and wears a second royal blue mermaid dress. Stay tuned!